So I've always firmly believed I don't have one type. And I'm right! And yet... The women I'm into seem to cluster into certain types. The intersections between these types seem to produce some profoundly incredible women. How about that! However... My types tend to be, well, embarrassing. I know I'm sort of a high priest of letting yourself be embarrassed, and in fact leaning into embarrassment is deeply important for an earnest embracement of living. But damn, why do I have to be so predictable...
TYPE 1
If you've followed along our tribulations there's probably one thing you've learned about us: our infamous predilection for blonde women. Now this is obviously the most nakedly Freudian type of ours (iykyk), but that's precisely why it's politically important for me to embrace it. I have to carry the torch for the veracity of Freudianism, I have to be a lifestylist-Freudian. My evil bestie says "thats not what Freud said, you're supposed to sublimate those things, Freud would think you're sick" but I think she hates me and doesn't understand the beauty of subconsciously projecting things onto blonde women. She says "it's not subconscious because you're saying it!" she doesn't realize that consciously recognizing subconscious behaviors does not shift these processes into the conscious realm! They continue to exist along both streams simultaneously. This supra-conscious approach to my Freudian preoccupations is in fact the basis of all socialism.
TYPE 2
Look, I have no excuse for this one. In fact I have no idea where it comes from. For some reason our first crush and our first girlfriend were not just blonde, but also Jewish. Unfortunately the first one became a Zionist settler, but the second is a mostly chill chaser of trans latinas so at least I wasn't the only one with issues there. How did this happen? I don't know! I don't seek it out, but I do just seem to get along well with Jewish girls, and they keep cropping into my life! Chalk it up to ethnic affinity? Who knows!
TYPE 3
Highschool dropouts and general academic strugglers have always confounded and excited me. Perhaps because their state of mind is so foreign to mine, they produce a confounding puzzle that I want to unravel. Why are they like that? It fascinates me. They have a value system so different from mine, how exciting! Hilariously I think this might be one of the more blatantly fetishistic types here. I mean it's downright orientalist, I just find myself fascinated by a life trajectory so different from my own, which is and always has been practically inseparable from school and academia.
TYPE 4
Cold, distant, confusing women.. Much like the previous category the appeal here is largely my need to unravel such women, to figure out how the hell they work. I've dedicated years of my life attempting to figure out and get approval from such women, pouring my life into things that will probably never work out. There's definitely something Freudian here as well, but here because it's the opposite of what I grew up around. I yearn for someone whose attention I need to fight for. It's like pressing my hand into spikes, and for some reason I couldn't get enough of it for years.
TYPE 5
Dog women. I love when they're friendly and snnout me :) I think the appeal comes from the eagerness of the interactions here. The appeal is kind of the exact opposite of the previous type. I find the earnestness here soothing, it makes me feel straightforwardly loved. I need that sometimes.
TYPE 6
Australians? God yeah. Need them. Love the women from down undah. Love when they talk like that. Beautiful beautiful feet.
TYPE 7
Plural homestucks. I mean it's just bread and butter stuff here. It's like fitting together puzzle pieces. We're a plural homestuck, they're a plural homestuck... they can rose my mary... they can mary my rose... it just makes sense!
TYPE 8
Women with beautiful feet. Sure this one's kind of vain.... but unfortunately I have tastes! Finding a woman sexy and attractive is very important for deeper connections. And when a woman has beautiful feet... well, refer to my previous blog post on the importance there concerned.
