Sickness is one of the absolute worst things imaginable. Why oh why did God inflict this sort of torment upon us? Who the hell determined that "feeling shit in novel and terrible ways" was an appropriate experience for people to undergo?
It's not even like the suffering of sickness is confined to a specific set of symptoms. The symptoms are terrible of course, but the symptoms do not at all capture the feeling of sickness. Sickness is this physical feeling of absolute misery, this physical suffering that transcends any specific domain and instead torments your body from the inside out. I just feel awful!
For some reason other people I know seem to get sick for a day or two then recover. Or their sickness seems to be so mild that they can work through it. I seem to be cursed with this secret other kind of sickness where I am in bed for a week and can barely move around at its worst. One of the worst feelings in existence is yearning to sit up, to be able to watch or read something, to do anything to distract yourself from the suffering, but the absolute crushing, mind melting wait of the hot soup you're boiling in prevents you from even enjoying the things you're seeing. That futility, that hopeless exhaustion is the essence of illness.
God willing I'll be well soon. It's my birthday tomorrow. Dammit.
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